Bad behavior August 06 2015, 0 Comments

If a child believes he/she is" bad", that will play out sooner or later.  Usually sooner.  

If the parent reacts badly to the child's bad behavior, we have a vicious cycle.  

It is up to the parent to break the cycle and thereby increasing the probability that acceptable behavior will surface.  

Know that your child doesn't really want to act that way.  The child's behavior is really a product of their emotional state at that time.  The behavior is really a strong indication of a problem.  Often the problem can be illusive, but you may know what it is.  The parent needs to separate the child from the behavior.  You need to connect with the child and make sure the child can really hear you.  

I would do all kinds of things to make sure my kids were listening.  Sometimes, I would let my child "get it out his/her's system" because he/she will never hear me if they are ranting.  Or just lift his/her face up to get eye contact with me, but I had to find a way to connect with my kid.  Once we were connected, I would tell them that I loved them.  Telling a kid you love them is a big diffuser.  All the negativity can just evaporate.  

When the negativity has left and they are still looking at me, I will let them know that I did not like what they are doing.  Make your voice firm.  Make your words clear.  Just say it once.

what one nice thing will you do for yourself today?